Many of us will come across this question in life...especially when being with the one that you love the most.
Some choose to ignore and some choose to find the answer. I will share my view on how to manage good relationship.
In my opinion, there is 4 important elements to maintain a good relationship: listen,understand,trust and accept. I will brief one by one with simple examples.
Everyone need someone to be there to listen to them doesn't matter either positive or negative. We just don't want to feel stupid talking to ourselves especially when there are issues going on. No matter if we are fighting or having one of those good days, it is important to be there to listen. When one avoids or ignores you and refuse to listen, that is when things get worst and we begin to develop negative thoughts and end up in anger or depression which results nothing worst than hating the one we love. So when one is calling you or trying to speak to you, give response and acknowledgement that you will listen to what your loved one has to say because as long you refuse to listen, things don't get sort out.
Just listening blankly is worst than being honest that you are not in the mood to listen, as I said give acknowledgement. When you are with someone and decides to spend the rest of your life with him/her, it will only come true if you understand the person,so called the other half of you. If the one you love is behaving in weird or unacceptable way, understand first why is it in that particular manner before making any conclusions. We must try to see things from his/her point so that things can be sort out. Many of us fail to understand our partner which leads to fights and arguments that could have been avoided easily: via listening and understanding.
TRUST
How can you love someone if you cannot trust him/her? In my personal view, one can never love without trust. To love is to trust and to trust is to love. Trust has to be slightly higher than jealousy. Trust me having a jealous gf/bf is what you should have, the moment your partner is not jealous, that means he/she might be in deep contact with someone else. Honestly, I even get jealous when my bf speaks to his best friend who is a girl and also friend of mine but I listen and understand their friendship because my trust towards my bf is higher than me feeling jealous. But how if your partner's behaviour do not reflect that he/she trust you?
That is when both should be there to LISTEN and UNDERSTAND which leads to developing trust in relationships. As long the other is missing in action,these unwanted feeling and thoughts just develop and crush you from inside.
The most important core but yet difficult. Personally, it is never easy to accept someone the way they are. There will always be some space for changes that you would want to do in your partner. Some for good like helping the partner to stop smoking or partner having you to drink less when socialising. These are good changes that is healthy mentally, emotionally and physically. No harm to try it if it is for your own good. Some for bad like asking to stop talking to your good friends for no specific reason, asking you not to have social life where if you do so, you tend to be alone most of time because one of you don't spare enough time for each other, these are not healthy changes. This needs to be avoided. Despite the matter that the one you love is good or bad, always accept without any judgement because as long you feel not accepted the way you are by your partner that is when one tend to be vulnerable and rebellious.
Well, these are solely my opinions for maintaining a good relationship, it goes the same for girls and boys equally. In love it is important to spare time to listen to your partner, to understand their issue and their point of view, to have trust in their action without any doubt and finally accept they way they are because if they are not right you wouldn't have fell in love at the first place.
this is gay af!
ReplyDeleteit doesnt applies in real life..